Starting From Here

I often get discouraged with my lack of progress. My lack of progress if usually because I have a hard time sticking with something, because I feel like it's not working well enough and/or fast enough. Vicious cycle. I normally dive into something head first and want to be awesome at it right away. Rarely does that work out.
Take running for instance; I decide that I want to learn to love running (note, that I don't say I want to learn to run, because duh, running is instinctive and everyone can do it - it's ok if you roll your eyes at that). I jump on the treadmill, walk for about 30 seconds and then amp up my speed to 6 and RUN. And die about 30 seconds after that. What the...? Ok, let's try it again, walk for 2 minutes then RUN... for 45 seconds before my sloppy, panting, taste blood and ear ringing death occurs. Ok, so maybe I need to actually LEARN how to run, but that's not fun - SO SCREW YOU TREADMILL! I gave running about 2 months of spotty training before I gave up (again).
Something I need to constantly remind myself, especially after having a baby - I'm not where I was 3 years ago. I'm not where I was 2 years ago - but I'm a hell of a lot stronger than I was 4 years ago. I need to start where I am right now. Not where I was, and certainly not my unrealistic expectations on where I think I *should* be. So if I can run for 30 seconds, then I should practicing running WELL for 30 seconds, then once I've got that down, then maybe try to 45 seconds, then a minute, then 2 minutes, and so one. Eventually I'll be able to run better, faster, longer. Who cares if it's not tomorrow. It doesn't matter if I'm the fastest, the strongest, the 'fittest" - what matters is that I'm always striving to become a better version of my self.
So here I am STARTING (not starting over or starting again) where I am right now. Today, when the Jiggley Baby naps, I'm going to run for 30 seconds, 4 times. It doesn't matter how long I walk in between. That's it. That's where I am right now. 30 seconds is an attainable goal and I will ROCK IT!

Where is your starting point?

Breaking Point

Everyone has their breaking point. That one thing that pushes them into action. It can be when that favorite pair of jeans stops fitting right. Or when you notice you're out of breath from doing something like walking up a flight of stairs. Sometimes it's when someone makes a comment. And once in awhile it happens when you finally look in the mirror. Like really look. Clothes off, lights on, so this is what the world sees when they look at me, looking.
I've always been curvy... ok curvy is putting a nice spin on my bumps and lumps... but for the sake of conversation, I've always been curvy. Sometimes my hips bulge out of my jeans. Sometimes my thighs are too big for the shorts I want to wear. Sometimes my tummy jiggles. Ok, a lot of the time, my tummy jiggles. But never have I been large enough to have a fold.
So let me do some Jiggley Mommy definitions for ya:

• Jiggley: parts of the body that may move on their own. Or that keep moving after intentional movement has stopped. It can also be when your have a crazy dance party and you shake all the parts of your body at the same time.
• Curves: Nice, rounded lines of the body.
• Bumps and Lumps: When curves have babies - when the flowing rounded lines of the body become a little less fluid and well... lumpy.
• Fold: When two Bumps and/or Lumps expand and start to hang out...or when one Bump and/or Lump expands and hangs OVER another...

Back to me being curvy. Ok, so in recent years I've been more bumpy and lumpy than curvy, but it is what it is. The other day I was stressing about getting my picture taken - like most mum's I'm behind the camera about 98% of the time. I undressed and stood in the middle of my room and looked at all the clothes that are no longer in season or fashion, all the clothes that don't fit properly, all the cheap 'this will do until I lose the weight' clothes, all the maternity clothes or clothes I could wear when I was pregnant... none of it made me feel good. None of it was even remotely close to pulling on a pair of special jeans that just make you feel HOT. No shirt or tunic or sweater that sufficiently camouflaged my plus sized figure. And then I noticed it. An almost fold. Not a 'sitting down so my body has extra rolls and bulges and what-have-yous'. Nope. A fold on my hip, where the bump of my stretched out belly meets the lump of my [oh so favorite part of my body] hip. Not quite an overhang, but... a fold.
It was like a slap. Sharp. Fast. To the point. It's time to make my health more of a priority. It's time to stop making excuses and getting down about no results. It's time to reach out for support, to ask for help and accountability. It's time to show myself that I CAN do it, if I just TRY. Breaking point, reached.

Big Bootie Girl

Before puberty I was always the smallest. I was short (ok, I still am) and pretty skinny. Then BAM! My boobs, my hips and my butt started to grow... I was super excited to get boobs. But they sorta stopped, but the bum and hips didn't. Since then I've always really disliked my lower body. It's taken YEARS of crash dieting and extremely poor body image for me to finally come to grips with things. THIS is my body. This is my body shape and it doesn't matter how much I work out or how little I eat or anything - THIS is the body I got. As round and unporportional as it is. I've just got to deal with it.
Now that isn't a complete "get out of jail free" card. Just because I'm aware that my body will never be super model skinny or have "hips like a boy" (which is something I've always really wanted), doesn't mean I should stop working towards healthy. I may be pear shaped... but I'm not healthy pear shaped right now. I'm still overweight. I'm lumpy. I'm jiggley. But under all that are some pretty great CURVES, that I've been ashamed of for so many years. Well I'm sorry curves!
This is my new goal; LOVE who I am, curves and weird hair and wonky eyes and stretch marks and ALL. I will break out of my fat, self imposed, prison and flaunt my beautiful curves again.

Wagon Faller-Offer

I am a wagon faller-offer. I feel like I'm in a constant cycle of climbing back up, starting again, slipping off, completely derailing myself, sitting in the mud feeling sorry for myself and then starting the whole business over again.
This week I have not touched my treadmill once. Well, that's a lie. I touched it... I turned the power off and put the key up high because I had kids playing in the basement. I went for a good walk with the boys, but once the once. This week has gone by in a blur and yet I don't think we were crazy over-busy like we sometimes get. I don't even have a little excuse for why I haven't done anything. And then on top of that we've eaten McGross, ordered delicious greasy pizza last night and I've eaten TWO bags of gluten-free cookies all to myself.

 

So this last week is a wash. My little whiney inner voice is pouting and stomping her feet. Should I let it get the better of me? Should I look at the scale, see how it's crept up, and then eat the rest of that pizza because I feel sorry for myself? Yes! NO! Today is as good as any other day TO START AGAIN. So what if last week sucked. It's done, I can't change it. Time to pull my big girl panties on and just do better. I am capable of making better choices. I am capable of finding the time to exercise. I am capable moving on. And maybe this is a relatively new one... I'm capable of FORGIVING myself. We all slip up. We all make mistakes or impulsive decisions. But I'm not beating myself up for it any longer. I won't let it live in my head and becomes yet another obstacle in my path to health (there are more than enough there already!).

Digging Deeper

It takes approximately 21 days for something to become part of your everyday routine. Almost a month. I'm on week 2 (again) and already I'm starting to dread working out. Well not dread exactly, but I just wish there was an easier way. I know full well that there isn't a REAL easier way - if I want to lose the weight I've got to put the work in. 21 days worth of putting the work in, and then it shouldn't feel quite as much like work as it does right now.
So when I need to dig deeper, when I need *something* to run towards, when I feel like cutting it short or giving up, I made this.

This is my vision board, my goals, my "why I am doing this". I'm getting healthy for my BOYS. I'm getting healthy for my HAPPINESS. I'm doing this because I love my family and I want to be around for a long long time to bug and harass them. I have put this up right in front of my treadmill, so when I need to focus on something to get through the last excruciating 30 seconds of a sprint or when I need something to climb towards, I can see EXACTLY why I'm doing it.

What gets you through a run or a workout? Are you motivated by the physical or mental changes that comes with a workout? How do you push through or dig a little deeper?

First Steps

So now that I am post pregnancy, I know it's time to step up my game and get rid of the jiggle. Having an infant definitely puts a little bit of a speed bump on my path to skinny; he wants to eat anywhere between every hour to every 3 hours. And you never really know which it'll be until he starts eying up my boobs and making his ever so cute little grunt/fuss/screech. Add to that, with my hubby working away, it's just me and the boys ALL.THE.TIME. Sawyer is a little bit young for a teenage babysitter (in my opinion) and my mum isn't available often.
Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse.
I can come up with a dozen more, if you'd like. But I won't. Because really, these excuses don't really matter to anyone else. They only matter to me, and only then they matter because I let them hold me back. I know I'm not alone here - there are thousands of women who let their kids or lack of time for themselves hold them back. So how can we move past it?
First things first; WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU, IN GETTING HEALTHY?
Is it losing weight? Or getting stronger? Do you want to start eating better, cleaner? Do you want to be able to run or even walk without getting winded? Or do you want to show your kids that being active is important? Do you want to do something alone or with a group? With your kids or without? What about your partner? This is the first step.
What's important to me? I want to lose weight. I want to be stronger. I want to eat better; I want my family to eat better. I want to do something FOR ME, without having a child hanging off my leg or my arm or my boob. First step complete - onto the second; Translating what's important to me, into an action plan.

To Binge or Not To Binge

I binge. I binge without even thinking about it. When there is a 'treat' or something calling my name, I usually can't just have one, I usually can't just have one handful...this is a problem. It's partly a matter of self control, it's also partly a matter of not allowing myself to have 'treats' - so when I fall off the wagon, so to speak, I fall hard (and eat everything I shouldn't on the way down). I binge when I'm frustrated. I binge when I'm sad or lonely. Binging makes me feel out of control, which ultimately ends up making me binge some more. Vicious. Cycle.
So how can I do better? To start I can really truly get rid of the crap in our house. The 'treats', the temptations, the junk that whispers my name every time I walk into the kitchen. I can also try other things before I go to the junky snack; like drinking a whole bottle of water before to see if maybe I was just thirsty; or eating an apple if I need a sweet fix.
My biggest hurdle to overcome will be getting my hubby on board. He SAYS he'd like to start eating better and getting rid of the junk... but the junk keeps sneaking it's way back into the cart, into the cupboard. Both of us don't like to waste, so the idea of throwing out perfectly good (junk) food, is a little hard to swallow. Slowly, but surely, the bad stuff is disappearing - but now we need to find good alternatives so that we don't feel like we're missing out, thus leading to the crap coming back in.
What are your healthy alternatives when you need a salty fix? A sweet treat? A crunchie snack?

Thursday's Workout (Day 6ish)

Alright, so I have been TRYING to do these daily workouts, I really have. Sunday I had a little screamer, every time he was not in my arms. Monday, the little screamer was nursing every 2 hours throughout the day AND NIGHT and then the icing on the cake was when the 4 year old starting barfing. Oh, and have I mentioned that my hubby works away so I get no tag outs, no relief and no help most of the time?! Tuesday I kept Little Barfer home from school, which he was totally capable of going, so he just ran laps around this tired old mum all day while Little Screamer did was he does best; cry. Bring on Wednesday, which was FINALLY a good day - Starting to get into the groove of things being on our own; neither child overly demanding or annoying; got out of the house for the ENTIRE morning and early afternoon. Woop woop! Success! But after all the running around and playing and putting on my game face for being in public, I didn't have much get-up-and-go to workout. I got through about half of the workout before baby starting fussing and I threw in the towel.

follow the #livingroomworkout on twitter

But I actually got today's workout done. YAY! I pounded it out, so it only took about 10 minutes (next time I'll actually time it). Again, I found it fairly easy, but I need easy right now. The Saturday's workout I had found almost too easy when I was doing it, but I actually felt some of those unused muscles the next day. Now don't get me wrong, they weren't crying out "OMG THAT HURTS SO GOOD!", but there was a little burny happening.
Modifications/Changes: My nursing boobies were complaining quite a bit when I was doing the jumping jacks, so I broke it down and did 20 in between each exercise - which means I actually doubled the reps! I wasn't sure what exactly the lunge split jumps were and didn't want to break stride to google, so I did 20 walking lunges instead. Also, I did modified pushups instead of wall pushups.
Successes/Celebrations: I pushed myself to do this workout fast and hard without doing the exercises sloppily. I got out 15 (modified) pushups before I had to take a little breather, but they were all  in good form.

Saturday's Workout (Day 1)

I just finished my first workout. Yay me! Even though I have been pretty sedentary for the past 10ish months, I found most of it fairly easy. There wasn't much to it, but it's a good starting point, I think. Next week I might have to go through the exercises twice to step it up a bit.
Modifications/Changes: Instead of 1 minute downward dog, I did a plank. And I wasn't quite able to do the jack knife situps, so I replaced with regular situps and doubled the reps.
Success/Celebrations: I have 3 today! (1) I bought XL sweats because that's what fit best pre-pregnancy... and they were a bit too big! They are STILL a bit too big even after washing/drying them too. (2) After having S I was worried my ab muscles might have separated a bit and/or lost strength, but I was able to rock out the russian twists and situps without too much of a problem! (3) Baby S (aka, ScreamyFace) hung out in his swing watching and/or sleeping the entire time I worked out. YAY!

Are you following along with the daily #livingroomworkout on twitter? Join us for a cyber workout buddy, encouragement, and accountability. C'monnnnn. Follow me on twitter @jiggleymommy!

Pregnancy Workouts (May)

Ok - I'm making a resolution to myself to have a healthier pregnancy this time around. I want to aim to workout at least 3 times a week. I'm going to track my monthly workouts here with the dates, to make me accountable. Please feel free to join me in these short workouts (I'll try to post more with just bodyweight exercises for those of you with no equipment), comment if you like it or not and if you have any input, please share!
Week1, Day1: 20 mins stationary bike (prog1), 10 reps X5 - bicep curl to press (w/ 5lbs each hand), squats, overhead tricep extensions (w/ 10lbs kettlebell)
Wk 1, Day2: 5 miles/8km stationary bike (res1-3), 50 pushups, 50 lunges per leg, 50 fire hydrants to donkey kick (? I'm making up my own names here lol)

Wk 2 - nothing, nadda, zip.

The Scale

It's incredible that one small piece of equipment has the ability to make you dance for joy in your underwear and the next day make you a sobbing puddle on the floor. The scale. We love to hate it. We wait with baited breath for that little number to dip just a bit lower. We stand absolutely still, in the exact same spot, at the exact same time, to measure the smallest of changes. We are over the moon when the number drops, even just a little; we disintegrate into dejection, feelings of failure and even depression when the number creeps up, even just a little. We are slaves to the scale.
One of the most important lessons I've learned the hard way, is to put away the scale. I may not have lost a whole bunch of weight, I might not be able to do 50lbs rows, I may fluctuate and fall off the wagon, but I try not to don't weigh myself anymore. Why? Because I don't want my happiness or feelings of success to rely on one little (or more accurately, not so little) number.
I can lift more. I can go farther. I can push harder. My jeans are a little bigger. My arms don't stretch out my shirts anymore. I don't hurt so much. I actually enjoy working out (most of the time). I feel lethargic and kind of gross when I don't make it to the gym at least twice a week. These are how I measure my success.
So if you want my secret to successfully getting healthy... here it is: toss the scale. Find something that is more important than that one number to measure against. If you screw up, miss the gym, binge on treats, eat at big delicious greasy burger - so what?! Use every day as your starting point. Every morning that you wake up, be thankful to be alive and start again. Make good choices, move your body and tell yourself that you are capable of anything!

Love It, to Lose It.

What is the number one reason people start working out? They want to lose weight or tone up. They aren't happy with the way their body looks and they want to change it. So if you are working out like crazy 5 days a week and only losing 1 pound a month or 1 inch every 3 weeks, you're going to get disappointed. You're going to quit. You're going to think that it's impossible to get to where you want to go. Time to re-think it.
First of all, changing your body is more than just moving your muscles, you need to feed it properly too. And that includes eating ENOUGH (which most women don't) and eating well. If you aren't eating enough and you are eating processed crap that just burns through your body, how can you expect your body to really do what you want it to do? Eat well, eat often.
The number on your scale is really no indicator with how well you are working out or how healthy you are. Most people, myself included, can become slaves to the number. Everything gets dependant of that number sliding down and when it doesn't - heartbreak - disappointment - chocolate. So find another reason to workout, any reason.
Working out...

• ... helps increase the density of your bones so they are less likely to break easily.
• ...reduces anxiety.
• ...improves your ability to recover from physical exertion.
• ...can enhance your sex life (c'mon now; you feel better about yourself, you do it more, you like it more)
• ...helps you sleep.
• ... helps to better control your insulin levels or blood sugar (especially if insulin resistant or type 2 diabetes)
• ... gives you more energy.
• ... helps improve mental alertness and studies have showed increased mental cognition (short term) in people who workout consistently.
• ...increases your overall health perspective or awareness.
• ... cleansing (mind and body).
• ... will improve the way your body works.

Find a reason to workout. Any reason that is important to YOU and hold yourself accountable to that reason.