First Steps

So now that I am post pregnancy, I know it's time to step up my game and get rid of the jiggle. Having an infant definitely puts a little bit of a speed bump on my path to skinny; he wants to eat anywhere between every hour to every 3 hours. And you never really know which it'll be until he starts eying up my boobs and making his ever so cute little grunt/fuss/screech. Add to that, with my hubby working away, it's just me and the boys ALL.THE.TIME. Sawyer is a little bit young for a teenage babysitter (in my opinion) and my mum isn't available often.
Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse.
I can come up with a dozen more, if you'd like. But I won't. Because really, these excuses don't really matter to anyone else. They only matter to me, and only then they matter because I let them hold me back. I know I'm not alone here - there are thousands of women who let their kids or lack of time for themselves hold them back. So how can we move past it?
First things first; WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU, IN GETTING HEALTHY?
Is it losing weight? Or getting stronger? Do you want to start eating better, cleaner? Do you want to be able to run or even walk without getting winded? Or do you want to show your kids that being active is important? Do you want to do something alone or with a group? With your kids or without? What about your partner? This is the first step.
What's important to me? I want to lose weight. I want to be stronger. I want to eat better; I want my family to eat better. I want to do something FOR ME, without having a child hanging off my leg or my arm or my boob. First step complete - onto the second; Translating what's important to me, into an action plan.

Where are my results?

Whether you've been at it for a month or for 3 years, if you aren't seeing the results that you were hoping for you are going to get disappointed. I've been working out for close to 2 years now, on my own, with a personal trainer, or in the gym. We've changed the way we eat, by not eating out more than once a week, if that (and making healthier choices when dining out as well), by meal planning healthy suppers, by always having a stocked fruit bowl and vegetable crisper. Hubby and I have talked quite a bit about wanting to live healthier lives, not only for ourselves, but so we can be the fun grandparents one day who still run around chasing the grandchildren.

Healthy Goals ✔
Cut Out Most of the Crap ✔
Move Your Body ✔

 So it's completely understandable why I am so frustrated. Why I'm so disappointed. Why I'm feeling like a 'failure'. I've been doing the right things. I've followed a prescription for health, but I'm still fat a really jiggley mommy. I want to go to the doctor to talk about testing, but I don't want to be seen as another fat larger person who blames a genetic problem or underactive thyroid before actually doing the work. Not to mention, my current doctor is so "oh you know, just don't eat so much". 

And then sometimes I just really need to re-evaluate my expectations. When I first started on this journey I was over 180lbs. I couldn't do ONE MODIFIED pushup. I couldn't run for more than 20 seconds. I would get breathless going up one flight of stairs. I may still be quite a distance from my goal weight of 130lbs, but I can do so much more now. I can do about 20 FULL ON pushups before I need to take a breather, but than I can do 20 more after that, and then 20 more, and more. Maybe slowly, maybe awkwardly, but I RAN a 5km last spring. I can run stairs at the gym... I can KEEP UP at the gym. I can play fitness games with the trainers (hardcore class!) and WIN! I am strong! I'm willing to at least TRY now, instead of give up before I even start.

Ok, so I've got TWO choices: I can be defeated by a number on the scale, because when we talk about results, the result I want to see is a decreasing number there. OR I can keep going. I can ask for help and input from the people around me. I can push myself harder. I can go farther. I can set more goals. I can continue to strive to be the person I want to be, whether that's in 6 months or 6 years and no matter what obstacles may stand in my way. Who are we kidding... there aren't two choices.