Big Bootie Girl

Before puberty I was always the smallest. I was short (ok, I still am) and pretty skinny. Then BAM! My boobs, my hips and my butt started to grow... I was super excited to get boobs. But they sorta stopped, but the bum and hips didn't. Since then I've always really disliked my lower body. It's taken YEARS of crash dieting and extremely poor body image for me to finally come to grips with things. THIS is my body. This is my body shape and it doesn't matter how much I work out or how little I eat or anything - THIS is the body I got. As round and unporportional as it is. I've just got to deal with it.
Now that isn't a complete "get out of jail free" card. Just because I'm aware that my body will never be super model skinny or have "hips like a boy" (which is something I've always really wanted), doesn't mean I should stop working towards healthy. I may be pear shaped... but I'm not healthy pear shaped right now. I'm still overweight. I'm lumpy. I'm jiggley. But under all that are some pretty great CURVES, that I've been ashamed of for so many years. Well I'm sorry curves!
This is my new goal; LOVE who I am, curves and weird hair and wonky eyes and stretch marks and ALL. I will break out of my fat, self imposed, prison and flaunt my beautiful curves again.

Facebook Page

So, I started a facebook page. I *think* it's going to be a good idea... I hope so. Anywhoo... this is the little blurb that I wrote for it today:

I started blogging two(ish) years ago about getting healthy and learning to love myself. The road from there has been full of bumps and bends; there has been weight loss and weight gain, being on and off the wagon, a baby and all the fun that goes with that. I started this page to compliment my blog - which is all of my random rambling about anything from getting healthy, nursing a baby, how much of a jerk my husband is that day, parenting and everything in between. I have found, that I stay on track better when I am accountable to someone else and when I am challenged... and that is how this page begun. It's purely selfish, I hope you don't mind. I want, no, I need to be accountable to all of you... and you guys can be accountable to me too. So this page will have daily posts to help motivate and encourage you on your own journey to wellness.

• Motivational Mondays - a little pick-me-up to help start off your week.
• Tasty Tuesdays - all things food related. Healthy, kid approved recipes, tips and all that fun stuff posted by one of my favorite foodies @Jordana
• *Workout Wednesdays - I'll post a short workout that can be done at home with little to no equipment. Most, if not all, workouts will be 15-20 minutes - easy enough to squeeze one into your day.
• Thankful Thursdays - a day to share what we are grateful for.
• Fess-Up Fridays - there is always something we can admit to. Be it health related or parent related or anything. Today's the day to fess-up.
• Surprise Saturdays - I have no idea what sort of 'theme' to do here, so SURPRISE! You'll probably see some pretty random stuff
• Sunday Funday - We'll end the week with a chortle, a giggle and maybe even a grin

So, I hope you'll enjoy this page. Comment, post, share - let me know what you want to see. Thanks again for checking us out!
Tina

*Workout Wednesdays - please remember to warm up before you start any workout and to spend a little time cooling down with a good stretch - also, you should always talk to your doc before starting any new exercise or diet program.
**disclaimer: I am NOT a professional. All info here is meant to be helpful, but is not intended to replace information from a doctor, trainer, or nutritionist.

Digging Deeper

It takes approximately 21 days for something to become part of your everyday routine. Almost a month. I'm on week 2 (again) and already I'm starting to dread working out. Well not dread exactly, but I just wish there was an easier way. I know full well that there isn't a REAL easier way - if I want to lose the weight I've got to put the work in. 21 days worth of putting the work in, and then it shouldn't feel quite as much like work as it does right now.
So when I need to dig deeper, when I need *something* to run towards, when I feel like cutting it short or giving up, I made this.

This is my vision board, my goals, my "why I am doing this". I'm getting healthy for my BOYS. I'm getting healthy for my HAPPINESS. I'm doing this because I love my family and I want to be around for a long long time to bug and harass them. I have put this up right in front of my treadmill, so when I need to focus on something to get through the last excruciating 30 seconds of a sprint or when I need something to climb towards, I can see EXACTLY why I'm doing it.

What gets you through a run or a workout? Are you motivated by the physical or mental changes that comes with a workout? How do you push through or dig a little deeper?

First Steps

So now that I am post pregnancy, I know it's time to step up my game and get rid of the jiggle. Having an infant definitely puts a little bit of a speed bump on my path to skinny; he wants to eat anywhere between every hour to every 3 hours. And you never really know which it'll be until he starts eying up my boobs and making his ever so cute little grunt/fuss/screech. Add to that, with my hubby working away, it's just me and the boys ALL.THE.TIME. Sawyer is a little bit young for a teenage babysitter (in my opinion) and my mum isn't available often.
Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse.
I can come up with a dozen more, if you'd like. But I won't. Because really, these excuses don't really matter to anyone else. They only matter to me, and only then they matter because I let them hold me back. I know I'm not alone here - there are thousands of women who let their kids or lack of time for themselves hold them back. So how can we move past it?
First things first; WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU, IN GETTING HEALTHY?
Is it losing weight? Or getting stronger? Do you want to start eating better, cleaner? Do you want to be able to run or even walk without getting winded? Or do you want to show your kids that being active is important? Do you want to do something alone or with a group? With your kids or without? What about your partner? This is the first step.
What's important to me? I want to lose weight. I want to be stronger. I want to eat better; I want my family to eat better. I want to do something FOR ME, without having a child hanging off my leg or my arm or my boob. First step complete - onto the second; Translating what's important to me, into an action plan.

Thursday's Workout (Day 6ish)

Alright, so I have been TRYING to do these daily workouts, I really have. Sunday I had a little screamer, every time he was not in my arms. Monday, the little screamer was nursing every 2 hours throughout the day AND NIGHT and then the icing on the cake was when the 4 year old starting barfing. Oh, and have I mentioned that my hubby works away so I get no tag outs, no relief and no help most of the time?! Tuesday I kept Little Barfer home from school, which he was totally capable of going, so he just ran laps around this tired old mum all day while Little Screamer did was he does best; cry. Bring on Wednesday, which was FINALLY a good day - Starting to get into the groove of things being on our own; neither child overly demanding or annoying; got out of the house for the ENTIRE morning and early afternoon. Woop woop! Success! But after all the running around and playing and putting on my game face for being in public, I didn't have much get-up-and-go to workout. I got through about half of the workout before baby starting fussing and I threw in the towel.

follow the #livingroomworkout on twitter

But I actually got today's workout done. YAY! I pounded it out, so it only took about 10 minutes (next time I'll actually time it). Again, I found it fairly easy, but I need easy right now. The Saturday's workout I had found almost too easy when I was doing it, but I actually felt some of those unused muscles the next day. Now don't get me wrong, they weren't crying out "OMG THAT HURTS SO GOOD!", but there was a little burny happening.
Modifications/Changes: My nursing boobies were complaining quite a bit when I was doing the jumping jacks, so I broke it down and did 20 in between each exercise - which means I actually doubled the reps! I wasn't sure what exactly the lunge split jumps were and didn't want to break stride to google, so I did 20 walking lunges instead. Also, I did modified pushups instead of wall pushups.
Successes/Celebrations: I pushed myself to do this workout fast and hard without doing the exercises sloppily. I got out 15 (modified) pushups before I had to take a little breather, but they were all  in good form.

Saturday's Workout (Day 1)

I just finished my first workout. Yay me! Even though I have been pretty sedentary for the past 10ish months, I found most of it fairly easy. There wasn't much to it, but it's a good starting point, I think. Next week I might have to go through the exercises twice to step it up a bit.
Modifications/Changes: Instead of 1 minute downward dog, I did a plank. And I wasn't quite able to do the jack knife situps, so I replaced with regular situps and doubled the reps.
Success/Celebrations: I have 3 today! (1) I bought XL sweats because that's what fit best pre-pregnancy... and they were a bit too big! They are STILL a bit too big even after washing/drying them too. (2) After having S I was worried my ab muscles might have separated a bit and/or lost strength, but I was able to rock out the russian twists and situps without too much of a problem! (3) Baby S (aka, ScreamyFace) hung out in his swing watching and/or sleeping the entire time I worked out. YAY!

Are you following along with the daily #livingroomworkout on twitter? Join us for a cyber workout buddy, encouragement, and accountability. C'monnnnn. Follow me on twitter @jiggleymommy!

Where are my results?

Whether you've been at it for a month or for 3 years, if you aren't seeing the results that you were hoping for you are going to get disappointed. I've been working out for close to 2 years now, on my own, with a personal trainer, or in the gym. We've changed the way we eat, by not eating out more than once a week, if that (and making healthier choices when dining out as well), by meal planning healthy suppers, by always having a stocked fruit bowl and vegetable crisper. Hubby and I have talked quite a bit about wanting to live healthier lives, not only for ourselves, but so we can be the fun grandparents one day who still run around chasing the grandchildren.

Healthy Goals ✔
Cut Out Most of the Crap ✔
Move Your Body ✔

 So it's completely understandable why I am so frustrated. Why I'm so disappointed. Why I'm feeling like a 'failure'. I've been doing the right things. I've followed a prescription for health, but I'm still fat a really jiggley mommy. I want to go to the doctor to talk about testing, but I don't want to be seen as another fat larger person who blames a genetic problem or underactive thyroid before actually doing the work. Not to mention, my current doctor is so "oh you know, just don't eat so much". 

And then sometimes I just really need to re-evaluate my expectations. When I first started on this journey I was over 180lbs. I couldn't do ONE MODIFIED pushup. I couldn't run for more than 20 seconds. I would get breathless going up one flight of stairs. I may still be quite a distance from my goal weight of 130lbs, but I can do so much more now. I can do about 20 FULL ON pushups before I need to take a breather, but than I can do 20 more after that, and then 20 more, and more. Maybe slowly, maybe awkwardly, but I RAN a 5km last spring. I can run stairs at the gym... I can KEEP UP at the gym. I can play fitness games with the trainers (hardcore class!) and WIN! I am strong! I'm willing to at least TRY now, instead of give up before I even start.

Ok, so I've got TWO choices: I can be defeated by a number on the scale, because when we talk about results, the result I want to see is a decreasing number there. OR I can keep going. I can ask for help and input from the people around me. I can push myself harder. I can go farther. I can set more goals. I can continue to strive to be the person I want to be, whether that's in 6 months or 6 years and no matter what obstacles may stand in my way. Who are we kidding... there aren't two choices.