Wagon Faller-Offer

I am a wagon faller-offer. I feel like I'm in a constant cycle of climbing back up, starting again, slipping off, completely derailing myself, sitting in the mud feeling sorry for myself and then starting the whole business over again.
This week I have not touched my treadmill once. Well, that's a lie. I touched it... I turned the power off and put the key up high because I had kids playing in the basement. I went for a good walk with the boys, but once the once. This week has gone by in a blur and yet I don't think we were crazy over-busy like we sometimes get. I don't even have a little excuse for why I haven't done anything. And then on top of that we've eaten McGross, ordered delicious greasy pizza last night and I've eaten TWO bags of gluten-free cookies all to myself.

 

So this last week is a wash. My little whiney inner voice is pouting and stomping her feet. Should I let it get the better of me? Should I look at the scale, see how it's crept up, and then eat the rest of that pizza because I feel sorry for myself? Yes! NO! Today is as good as any other day TO START AGAIN. So what if last week sucked. It's done, I can't change it. Time to pull my big girl panties on and just do better. I am capable of making better choices. I am capable of finding the time to exercise. I am capable moving on. And maybe this is a relatively new one... I'm capable of FORGIVING myself. We all slip up. We all make mistakes or impulsive decisions. But I'm not beating myself up for it any longer. I won't let it live in my head and becomes yet another obstacle in my path to health (there are more than enough there already!).

First Steps

So now that I am post pregnancy, I know it's time to step up my game and get rid of the jiggle. Having an infant definitely puts a little bit of a speed bump on my path to skinny; he wants to eat anywhere between every hour to every 3 hours. And you never really know which it'll be until he starts eying up my boobs and making his ever so cute little grunt/fuss/screech. Add to that, with my hubby working away, it's just me and the boys ALL.THE.TIME. Sawyer is a little bit young for a teenage babysitter (in my opinion) and my mum isn't available often.
Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse.
I can come up with a dozen more, if you'd like. But I won't. Because really, these excuses don't really matter to anyone else. They only matter to me, and only then they matter because I let them hold me back. I know I'm not alone here - there are thousands of women who let their kids or lack of time for themselves hold them back. So how can we move past it?
First things first; WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU, IN GETTING HEALTHY?
Is it losing weight? Or getting stronger? Do you want to start eating better, cleaner? Do you want to be able to run or even walk without getting winded? Or do you want to show your kids that being active is important? Do you want to do something alone or with a group? With your kids or without? What about your partner? This is the first step.
What's important to me? I want to lose weight. I want to be stronger. I want to eat better; I want my family to eat better. I want to do something FOR ME, without having a child hanging off my leg or my arm or my boob. First step complete - onto the second; Translating what's important to me, into an action plan.

The Scale

It's incredible that one small piece of equipment has the ability to make you dance for joy in your underwear and the next day make you a sobbing puddle on the floor. The scale. We love to hate it. We wait with baited breath for that little number to dip just a bit lower. We stand absolutely still, in the exact same spot, at the exact same time, to measure the smallest of changes. We are over the moon when the number drops, even just a little; we disintegrate into dejection, feelings of failure and even depression when the number creeps up, even just a little. We are slaves to the scale.
One of the most important lessons I've learned the hard way, is to put away the scale. I may not have lost a whole bunch of weight, I might not be able to do 50lbs rows, I may fluctuate and fall off the wagon, but I try not to don't weigh myself anymore. Why? Because I don't want my happiness or feelings of success to rely on one little (or more accurately, not so little) number.
I can lift more. I can go farther. I can push harder. My jeans are a little bigger. My arms don't stretch out my shirts anymore. I don't hurt so much. I actually enjoy working out (most of the time). I feel lethargic and kind of gross when I don't make it to the gym at least twice a week. These are how I measure my success.
So if you want my secret to successfully getting healthy... here it is: toss the scale. Find something that is more important than that one number to measure against. If you screw up, miss the gym, binge on treats, eat at big delicious greasy burger - so what?! Use every day as your starting point. Every morning that you wake up, be thankful to be alive and start again. Make good choices, move your body and tell yourself that you are capable of anything!