Operation; No More Boob To Bed (2 week update)

Tomorrow will mark two weeks since I finally threw my hands up in the air and declared our house a sleeping house. Things have gone really well. JiggleyBaby was waking up most days at around 5, but I would resettle him and he'd go back to sleep until somewhere between 6-6:20am. And although, I didn't really want to be getting up then, I thought it was a relatively small sacrifice since I was getting about 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep in one swoop. Then one morning at the beginning of the second week, he wouldn't go back to sleep with a lay down and bum pat. He wouldn't even go back to sleep after I picked him up for a hug and kiss or for a little snuggle and rock in the glider. Since the clock was creeping closer and closer to his 6am wake up, I decided just to feed him, but make sure he stayed awake. So I turned on the night light and I nursed... and he was HUNGRY! He gulped. He snuggled in and drank and drank and drank. After 20 minutes (one of the longest nursing sessions he's done lately), he pointed to his crib. I turned off the night light, gave him a hug and a kiss and laid him back down. HE SLEPT UNTIL 7:40AM!!!!!!!!!
It was totally understandable! In the months leading up to our sleeptraining, he was awake and nursing (or at least snacking) 4+ times a night. Of course he was hungry! That's like announcing after breakfast, that there will be nothing for you to eat or drink until supper. So I started feeding him at 5am, and he's been sleeping until 7-7:30 most mornings.
Last night was our worst night yet, and it wasn't nearly as painful of nights past. He fussed at around 1am, but went back to sleep on his own. Then woke crying and upset at 2. I left him for 10 minutes to see if he'd slowly gear down and maybe fall asleep, but he was getting louder and more upset. I tried to give him a cuddle, but that didn't help much, so I gave him a little (awake!) snack and tucked him back in. He was up again briefly at 4:45am, but settled himself, and up for the day at 6:10am. He's got two teeth that are just about through the gum and because JiggleyBoy had Beaver Scouts last night, our bedtime routine was really off. So either of those things could have contributed to the off night.
This week we've got immunizations and likely will be getting our flu shots (flu nasal sprays for the boys), so my fingers are crossed that we can get back on track and have as few bumps in the sleep-training road as possible. Stay tuned for the one month update!

Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day3+4)

Day 3 -- Up at 6am, and unable to resettle him back to sleep. Up for the day at 6:30am
AM Nap @ 8:45am nurse, diaper change, sleep sack, laid him down, he cried for about a minute before falling asleep. Nap was ruined by the dreaded Poopious-Inturruptous, after an hour.

PM Nap (a) @1pm fell asleep for about 20 minutes, in the car on the way home from Costco.
(b) @4pm he definitely didn't get enough sleep and there was no way he'd make it to bedtime, so nursed him, changed his diaper, sleep sack and laid him down he fussed  for all of 30 seconds before falling asleep. I didn't want bedtime to be too much of a challenge tonight, so I woke him after an hour... which he was rather unhappy about.

Bedtime @ 7:45 Because of his later nap today, we pushed bedtime back a little. Plopped him in the tub at 7:10pm, then lotion and jammies, nurse, story and "na-nights" to everyone. We had some good hugs and kisses after I turned off the light and I laid him down. He didn't even sit up tonight! Just laid down, and snuggled into his elephant. I walked out of his room and there was absolutely no complaints.

OverNight: He woke briefly at 3 and at 4:15, both times cried for less than 10 minutes before fall back asleep on his own.

Day 4 -- Up at 6:20am.
AM Nap @ 9-10:50 -- 'complained' for a few minutes before falling asleep

PM Nap @ 2 - The DaddyMan was in charge of the afternoon nap today because I was out. Which didn't go over too well. First of all, he didn't offer JiggleyBaby any pre-naptime milk, and... well I'm pretty sure this was the first time anyone other than me has tried to put him to bed/nap. 10 solid minutes of crying, DaddyMan went in to reassure and lay him back down. Another 15 solid minutes of crying - at this time I got a text message saying that maybe I had better think about coming home. DaddyMan went in again to reassure, comfort (he rocked him for a couple minutes until he had calmed down), and put him down again. Another almost 10 minutes of crying before finally falling asleep at about 2:45pm. Slept until just after 4pm.

Bedtime @7pm -- we had our lovely sitter tonight and, again, the first time for someone other than me doing the WHOLE bedtime routine, from bath to tuck-in. I was nervous; nervous that JiggleyBaby would lose his mind, nervous that the sitter would be like "whoa, this is too much!".  I wrote down our routine and my sitter said it made everything go really smoothly.
She said he "complained" for maybe 3 minutes total! SUCCESS!!
Overnight - He woke at 4:20am, fussing. I let him 'complain' and whine until about 4:40, but then from not nursing him before bed (and not nursing as much lately because of this sleep training) my boobs were aching and full. So I got up, turned on his nightlight and nursed him (awake) for just over 10 mins. He went back to bed awake, but didn't make a peep until 7:40am!!
Since we've had such success over the last few days, I don't think I will continue to blog all the gory little details. All of our naptime/bedtime routines are pretty much the same and JiggleyBaby is doing really well going down. I'll do an update at the end of the month, if you're interested in how things have progressed!

Here's links to the rest of our sleep training journey incase you missed it:
What started it all --> The No-Sleep, Sleep Study by JiggleyBaby
Our Method --> Our Sleep Training Method
Day 1 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day1)
Day 2 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day2)
Day 3 +4 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day3+4)
Sleep Training Update -- coming soon

Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day2)

Woke for the day at 6:30am

AM Nap @ 8:50 - nursed for 10 minutes, diaper change, sleep sack on and cuddle for a minute while reassuring and saying "na-night", laid him down and left the room. He fussed/complained for FOUR minutes before falling asleep. He was still soundly sleeping when I had to wake him up at 11am so we could go pick up JiggleyBoy from school. SOLID two hour nap for the win!

PM Nap @ 1:45 - Diaper change, sleep sack, nursed/snuggle, "na-night", into bed. He fussed until I closed the door behind me and then was out. He slept for just over an hour and was up by 3:15pm.

Bedtime @ 6:30 - we had a bit of a later supper tonight, so the bedtime tonight felt a bit rushed to me. Bath, lotion/jammies, nursed for a couple of minutes but was pretty distracted, sleep sack and said "na-night" to JiggleyBoy and DaddyMan and everything else. Tonight he cried! He cried in his normal sleepy cry for 13 minutes, then I went in, gave him a kiss and tucked him back in. When I left he SAD cried. It broke my heart. I had a hard time walking away and closing the door, and an even harder time walking away from his door. I gave it 10 more minutes and the crying didn't really decrease (or increase) and my mommy gut was starting to hurt. Since he didn't really nurse before bed, I decided to turn on the light and let him have a little bit more to drink, without the distraction of his brother. He nursed for 10 minutes, while I reassured him and told him it was 'na-night' time. I tucked him in and fussed for 2 minutes before falling asleep. Phew!

Overnight: Up at 3am, cried for 10 minutes, hubby went in to comfort him, cried for another almost 10 minutes, hubby took him out of bed and cuddled him in the glider for a few minutes until he was calm (but not asleep), he didn't even make a peep when he was put back down and went right back to sleep. Up again at 4:15, hubby resettled him, cried for about 10 minutes. Up again at 6am, hubby tried to resettle at 6:15, but at 6:30 gave up the fight and got up for the day.

Here's links to the rest of our sleep training journey incase you missed it:
What started it all --> The No-Sleep, Sleep Study by JiggleyBaby
Our Method --> Our Sleep Training Method
Day 1 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day1)
Day 2 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day2)
Day 3 +4 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day3+4)
Day 5, 6 + 7 --> coming soon
Sleep Training Update -- coming soon

OUR Sleep Training Method

I've been asked how we are going about sleep training with JiggleyBaby. So I thought I'd share with you the basics of what we're doing. Now before I begin, I need to throw this out there... I have NO IDEA what I'm doing. I am not a sleep expert, nor a doctor, nor a professional anything. So please take what I say with a grain of salt.
After my little public declaration of being tired of being tired, a friend suggested a book she got when her and her hubby started sleep training their little guy. She emailed me a copy and between sobs and sips of my baileys (with a splash of decaf), I power read it. Before I started this, I was not really feeling any sort of CIO (cry it out) method. I don't want my baby to be sad, or confused, or feeling abandoned.... but really?! There aren't too many mommy's out there that want that. That being said, there is crying involved in this method. I am not sure if there really truly is a way that you can teach your baby/toddler how to fall asleep on their own, without a little bit of crying. The difference is that you are in control of it, you aren't just walking away with a "deal with it, baby!" attitude. So anyways... here are the basics of what I got out of the book and the approach we're taking to sleep training.
Step 1:

• write down the pros and cons of sleep training
• make a contract with yourself and/or your partner
• will you leave the room or sit by the bed
• how long will you let your baby cry for
• will you focus on just naps, just bedtime or all sleep at once
• how long are you willing to give this a shot
• Decide on when you are going to start

Step 2 - The In's and Out's:

• Take away sleep 'props'. This was a big one for us. JiggleyBaby needed to nurse and be rocked in a dark, quiet room in order to fall asleep. None of those things were under his control - I was in charge of the boobs, I was in charge of the rocking, I made his room dark, and I shushed everyone into silence. So it's no wonder that when he woke during the night or after a 20 minute nap, he couldn't fall back to sleep - he needed me to get him there. So whether it's nursing/bottle or rocking or back tickles or a pacifier - if you are in control of their soothing, it's got to go.
• Introduce a lovey. A blankie or a special stuffie that they will always have in their bed, that they can cuddle or stroke or whatever they need/want to do to comfort them into sleep. This is not the same as a sleep prop, because the baby/toddler is in charge of the lovey. JiggleyBaby has a soft blankie and a scentsy elephant that he alternates cuddling with.
• Routine!!! Especially for the first few weeks, keep the same routine surround sleep times. The naptime routines don't need to be as long, but it's easier to fall asleep if you have a ritualized sleep schedule. It is VERY important to have a consistent bedtime routine - after a long day, this is the time to signal that it's time to quite our minds, slow down and get ready for our long sleep of the day. You don't want to drag a bedtime routine on too long, so keep it under an hour. Our naptime routine is: nurse (now in the living room or with the lights on in his room), diaper change, sleep sack on, "na-night", nap! Our bedtime routine is: bath, lotion/massage, jammies, nurse, sleep sack, story, "na-nights", bed!
• Have a sleep-time phrase. A word or a phrase that can be said to signal it's time to lay down and go to sleep. For us it's "Na-night". This is just another cue that bedtime is coming and it's time to slow down and get ready for sleep. While I'm nursing, I talk to JiggleyBaby and tell him it's just about "na-nights", then we say "na-night" to JiggleyBoy and DaddyMan, to the toys, to the light as we turn it off and finally I say it to him.
• Plan A or Plan B
• Plan A - stay in the room. You put your baby to bed, but you stay in their room. You are close enough to give them reassurance with your voice and the occasional touch to let them know you're there. In a few days, you'll move your chair to the middle of the room, then a few days after that you'll move your chair to the door, then a few days after that you'll leave the room.
• Plan B - leave the room. After you lay them down, you leave. You can go back in to reassure, lay back down, resettle as needed. This is the route we went, since I thought it might be harder for JiggleyBaby to fall asleep with me as his captive audience.
• Ok so crying is involved, but you determine how long you are going to let your baby/toddler cry for. We I decided that because JiggleyBaby is a bit older, that I would let him go for 10 minutes. Hearing your baby cry is hard, but you have to remember that they are learning how to get themselves comfortable and how to fall asleep without your help... which up until now they've always had. Their 'normal' is changing and that is frustrating and confusing, and they express that with crying. Of course, if baby is panicking or is giving a sick or hurt cry, screw the 10 minutes and get in there... but give it a little time.

Step 3 Give It Time

• Don't give up if the first day SUCKS HARD
• From what I've read, depending on your baby, sleep training can take anywhere between 3 days to 6 weeks. So don't lose hope. If, in step 1, you decided to give it 2 solid weeks, then stick with it and tough it out.
• Some kids will only cry for a minute before passing out, some kids are a little more stubborn and will cry for an hour or maybe even more - just remember that this is a change for them and change is hard and confusing. The amount they cry *should* decrease a little every day.
• Keep track of your progress. When you are in and out of a room with a crying baby for well over an hour at 3am, it's easy to believe that what you're doing isn't working. Write it all down. Write your routine, how long they fussed for, how long they slept for, if you had to go in, what time you started your routine and what time they actually went to bed. Over a few days you should be able to see a pattern and see what works for you guys.

Some Other Tips I've Been Given

• 5 minute intervals. On the first night, you go back into the room after they've been crying for 1 minute, reassure/resettle, then you give them 5 minutes, if they are still crying reassure/resettle, then give them 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, then 20 minutes - never exceeding 20 minutes of crying since if they cry longer than that there is a good chance they will get themselves over stimulated and won't fall asleep on their own anyways. Then every other night after that you go in 5 minute intervals, up to 20 minutes.
• Have a good routine, but be flexible. Just because your routine says naptime is at 2pm, doesn't mean that if baby is showing signs of being tired you can't put him down earlier.
• Try to catch the good sleep window! Watch baby for signs of getting sleepy; rubbing face or eyes, yawning, long blinks - this is a great time to get into bed! If you miss that window and they enter over-tired mode, then it'll be harder for them to settle into sleep because they are overstimulated.

Ok, this post is long enough... I think I covered the basics. If you are looking for some help with sleep training your little one, I hope this helps at least a little. If you've done a form of sleep training with your little one, and have some tips, tricks or suggestions, please share!!

Here's links to the rest of our sleep training journey incase you missed it:
What started it all --> The No-Sleep, Sleep Study by JiggleyBaby
Our Method --> Our Sleep Training Method
Day 1 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day1)
Day 2 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day2)
Day 3 +4 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day3+4)
Day 5, 6 + 7 --> coming soon
Sleep Training Update -- coming soon

Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day1)

If you read my last post, than you might have, sorta, kinda gotten the impression that I am a wee bit tired. Thirteen months of sleepless nights, with minimal help from anyone else, is more than enough for any one woman to bear. So I reached out. A big thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU, to all the kind words here on my blog, and on facebook, both on my personal and the JiggleyMommy pages. On top of all the suggestions, encouragement, and commiserating, writing that post opened my eyes. It really is time for change. JiggleyBaby is just as tired as I am, and I can't imagine how uncomfortable that would be for someone who just isn't capable of understanding why sleep is so important or how our bodies react when we don't get enough. So here goes nothing... we're starting Operation; No More Boob to Bed. Sleep training.
I've realized that I've created some bad habits we've gotten into some habits that are no longer working for us. We have a fairly consistent nighttime routine, but I always nurse to sleep. I was afraid of the crying. I wasn't, I'm not, a fan of crying it out. So for every nap, and every night, I'd strap JiggleyBaby into his sleep sack, say 'na-night' to his toys and his light, then settle into the glider to rock and nurse. Nursing your baby to sleep, is... well it's sweet. For me, it was one of the only times in my busy day that I could sit quietly and just 'be' with my baby. But now I know, that although it was nice, it has also now created the need for him to nurse to fall asleep... and as a result, he needs to nurse anytime he wakes during the night in order to get back to sleep. And on a restless night... that means I'm in his room, rocking and nursing him, upwards of 8 times.
So it's time for him to learn that he can still have num-nums (boobie milk), but he doesn't need it to sleep. This is my sleep training action plan.
Step 1: Make a contract with yourself (and/or your partner) to stay strong. Put in writing how long you'll let your baby cry and how you'll deal with it. Will you stay in the room until your baby falls asleep or will you leave and check in every so often? Decide you plan of attack!
Step 2: Put it in action. Know that it will likely be hard, know that there is a chance you might want to give up, know that it will get better. Everything I've read says that sleep training typically takes anywhere from 3 days to a few weeks, depending on your baby. So make sure you decide how long you are going to try for - don't give up if the first night is PAINFUL, or if after the first few days it's not improving.
Step 3: sleep.

Here are my results from day 1:
Morning Nap @9:30am - put in sleep sack, nursed for 10 minutes (with the light on), said "na-night" to toys and turned off the light, laid him down with his blankie and said "na-night". When he realized I was putting him to bed he sat up and cried. I laid him back down, said "it's na-night time, I love you", then left the room. He cried (more of a sleepy, 'hey this is new!' sort of cry) for SIX minutes before falling asleep. He cried out for less than 30 seconds after he was asleep for an hour, but fell back asleep on his own. I had to wake up at 11am to go pick up JiggleyBoy from school... so an hour and a half nap - I'd call that SUCCESS!
Afternoon Nap @2:30pm - a bit later than I should have let him go, but we had a lunch date and everyone was having too much fun to call it quits earlier. Put him in sleep sack, nursed for 10 minutes, said "na-night", lights off and into bed. He sat up and cried, but I reassured him that I love him and it was "na-night time". I blew him a kiss and left the room. He stopped crying after THREE minutes, whined as he was getting himself comfortable for another minute or two, and passed out. He woke up on his own, happily talking to his stuffed elephant, at 4:10pm - so another hour and a half! Yay!!
Bedtime Routine starts @ 6:15pm - bath, lotion, jammies, JiggleyBoy reads us a story, sleep sack, nurse (lights on, with blankie), "na-night" to brother and toys and light, kisses and walk out (by 7pm). He cried sitting up, fairly hard, for about 7 minutes, then laid down and cried/complained loudly for another 5. He got quiet for a minute and I thought he might be asleep... then the phone rang (and my phone rarely rings!), which started a fresh round of hard crying. After 10 minutes I went back in, laid him back down, said "I love you, it's na-night time" and left again. He cried for another 12 minutes, most of which was pissed off "I know you're out there, where's my boobies?!?!" sort of cry, before he fell asleep. So it was a little more painful tonight, than naptime, but he fell asleep on his own. Now the test will be how we fare overnight.
Stay tuned for day 2 of Operation; No More Boob to Bed.

**Update: Last night went well. He woke up at 3:30am, I let him cry/fuss for about 15 minutes before I went in. I think if I had just let him go, he might have petered out on his own, since he was laying down and 'complaining' more than real crying. I reassured him, gave him a kiss, laid him back down, said "na-night" and left the room again. He cried/fussed for another 20 minutes. I went in, picked him up, took him to the glider, let him nurse for 2 minutes, then resettled him in bed. He cried for 1 minute and went back to sleep. He slept through until 6:30am this morning! It was a good start!

Here's links to the rest of our sleep training journey incase you missed it:
What started it all --> The No-Sleep, Sleep Study by JiggleyBaby
Our Method --> Our Sleep Training Method
Day 1 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day1)
Day 2 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day2)
Day 3 +4 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day3+4)
Day 5, 6 + 7 --> coming soon
Sleep Training Update -- coming soon

Sleepless Nights

As my sons first birthday approaches, I feel this insane amount of pressure to get him sleeping through the night. Part of it is that I know he is old enough, and developmentally ready enough, to handle sleeping for longer than 4 hours at a time. Part of it is jealousy of the other babies we know, in and around the same age as JiggleyBaby, who are sleeping soundly (many of whom seem to have been sleeping well through the night for quite some time). Part is a little outside pressure from family and/or friends. And a big part is that I am so.freaking.tired. I'm not really sure how long I can function in this sleep deprivation.
For the longest time, JiggleyBaby's 'normal' sleep routine was; bed by 7:30, wake up and nurse at 3ish am, wake/nurse anywhere between 5 and 6:30 (IF it was before 6:15, I could usually get him to snooze for another 45 minutes to an hour). But for the last 2 weeks, he hasn't gone for longer than 2 hours at a stretch, and then needing usually 20-40 minutes of rocking/nursing/snuggling/shushing/bum patting before he's back to sleep. And because it's really only ever been ME to take care of bedtime, he loses his noodle if DaddyMan so much as breathes outside his bedroom door.
I've gotten all sorts of helpful (and not so helpful) advice; just let him cry, do a pick up/put down technique, modified crying it out, pacifiers and no pacifiers, self soothing and parental soothing and and and. I'm overwhelmed. Last night for over an hour I tried to do everything BUT nurse him back to sleep and he screamed bloody murder, waking DaddyMan and JiggleyBoy. And how, you might ask, did he finally go to sleep? Nursing. While I was quietly sobbing, so as not to disturb his precious balance of twilight snacking. Then, after the 3 stage process of getting him out of my arms and into his crib, I tiptoed back to my own bed to sob into my pillow.
I feel like such a failure. And why, exactly? Because my baby isn't sleeping - which could be for any number of reasons, one of them likely isn't me. I can't get him to fall asleep on his own, but I can't let him cry himself out, but I can't just let him comfort suck, but I can't... ACK! Why have I put so much pressure on myself?!?
ENOUGH!
Tonight, when my baby wakes up crying out for me, I'm going nurse him back to sleep. I'm going to slowly rock him (even though my chair has a squeak that makes my left eye twitch). Tomorrow I'm going to check his mouth for new teeth, watch for signs of an ear infection, give him some pear juice to make sure he poops, go for a walk in the fresh air, and keep his bedtime routine predictable. And if, when, he wakes up tomorrow night, I'm going to slowly rock him and nurse him back to sleep. And that's ok, right?