In the last year, apart from 3 nights I spent on the basement couch with a pillow over my head, I have had on average 4-6 hours of interrupted sleep a night. The effects of sleep deprivation are many. On top of feeling like a big bag of garbage most of the time;
- I've lost friends/support because either they are tired of hearing about me being tired, because I don't have the time+energy to properly maintain the friendship and it dulls over time, or simply because I've hermited myself away and am no longer interesting enough to go looking for.
- I've aged... a lot. My skin is losing elasticity, my hair is falling out, and I'm finding more and more fine wrinkles around my eyes. Not to mention the saggy boobs that comes with nursing 2 boys and a total of 31 months and counting.
- I can't think things through clearly, especially when it comes to JiggleyBaby and his sleep. I can't reason out how to make things better for him, and in return me.
- I've not only been unable to shed most of my pregnancy weight, but I've gained weight. The body is in an almost constant fight or flight response, so goes into lock down mode, by holding onto everything you put into it - no matter how much you eat or how much you work out.
- I have trouble concentrating on just about anything - which explains my lack of blogging.
- My short term memory has become like a sieve and if I don't write something down I'll likely forget.
- I'm sick, almost all of the time. Whether it's the sniffles or a headache or a full blown man-cold, my body is too run down to properly fight illness off, so it seems that anything that is going around I catch. I'm coming down with my 3rd cold in less than 2 months.
- My patients is at an all time low and I'm quicker to anger than I wish to be.
- I'm depressed and overwhelmed. My anxiety about things like driving and new situations is back (not to the extreme as it has been in the past) but there non-the-less.
- I feel like a shitty person. Shitty mom for only giving minimal effort some days to the kids. Shitty partner for sometimes missing my hubby, who is only home 1 week a month, only because I don't want to deal with any more of the responsibilities of child rearing and household crap on my own. Shitty friend for not calling or visiting more. Shitty.
Anyone out there have any advice on the topic of sleep? Any kind words of wisdom that can help me get through this?
Here's links to the rest of our sleep training journey incase you missed it:
What started it all --> The No-Sleep, Sleep Study by JiggleyBaby
Our Method --> Our Sleep Training Method
Day 1 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day1)
Day 2 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day2)
Day 3 +4 --> Operation; No More Boob to Bed (day3+4)
Day 5, 6 + 7 --> coming soon
Sleep Training Update -- coming soon
