I CAN do it (and other things to teach our children)

Today I witnessed something that made my heart sing. Every time we walk home from our favorite coffee hang out (the Cool Beans Bus) we pass by 3 giant tree planter type things. Trent is forever climbing up onto them and trying to balance his way across. He started out wanting to hold onto my hand, to having me walk beside him so he can grab onto me only if he needs to. Today, before he jumped up to balance his way across the last one I caught him whispering to himself. I listen closer and hear; "Me can do it. Me can do it! Me can do it!" Then he climbed up told me I was too close and balanced his way all the way to the end on his own. Proud mommy moment. Not only was I proud of his coordination and determination, I was most proud of his pep talk to himself. He told himself that he could do it, so he did.
This got me thinking about self esteem. If you've read some of my other blogs, it shouldn't really come as a surprise to you that I may not have the best self esteem. I always doubt my abilities, my attractiveness, my... well I doubt most of what I do. I do not want my child to grow up like that. I never want him to feel like he shouldn't even bother to try something because there is a chance it might go poorly. I never want him to give up before he starts. I ALWAYS want him to feel like he can do ANYTHING he puts his mind to and the sky's the limit.
So how do foster good self esteem in young children?

1. Praise. Tell them what a good job they've done. Show them with hugs and kisses that you are proud of them; proud of achievements AND proud of trying.
2. Rephrase and acknowledge their feelings. If a child is upset because they didn't make the soccer team, instead of saying something like "well next year we'll try harder and practice more" (which implies that didn't try very hard this year) you could respond with something like "I'm sorry you didn't make the team this year, I know you were really hoping to. I am really proud of you for trying out though". Or for a child who easily gets frustrated with a younger sibling; instead of "You're so quick to frazzled, just calm down." maybe try "I understand your brother is frustrating you. I really appreciate that even when you're mad at him you don't yell or hit him".
3. And this is the MOST important, Be a good role model. A child who sees a lot of uncertainty, fear, or insecurity will model that behaviour. If you show a child that confidence is powerful, they will emulate that.