Diet Secrets Revealed!

<Insert almost any female celebrity name here> lost 30lbs in ONE month with these TWO easy diet secrets. And for only $99.99 we'll share the secret to her success so you too can have the body you've always dreamed about.

Ahh *ahem* bullshit. I CALL BULLSHIT! Ok, first of all, I want to put it out there that the media has such an effed up sense of what a real woman should look like. It's ridiculous to think that the average woman is EVER going to look like the women who make like 8.2 million dollars for prancing around in short shorts and a bikini top (and makeout with my boyfriends Johnny or Gerard). The AVERAGE woman does not have such a disposable income for a personal chef to make sure all her food is unprocessed and nutrient appropriate. She doesn't have 3 different personal trainers who spend hours with her every day. She doesn't have a nanny to watch her kids all day long AND a personal assistance to answer her calls all day long. So ladies, please stop looking at these woman who we can never really aspire to be. It's not our job to mold our imperfect bodies into what everyone ELSE says is 'beautiful'. Do you know what IS perfect? Being a little bit warmer in the winter because of your extra 'fluff'. It's beautiful being STRONG enough to tote around an infant carrier and a toddler on the hip. It's beautiful having stretch marks or saggy boobs that show that your body was the vessel of a living miracle. It's beautiful to be smart or witty or funny. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You're beautiful when you cry because you did something you didn't think you could. You're beautiful when you belly laugh. You're beautiful when you are a little unsure of yourself. YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL.

My second point has been buried under the first.... it just doesn't really matter anymore. But the secret to losing weight, I'll give it to you for FREE. Step 1: Eat well and eat often (cut the processed convenient foods out and make sure you eat enough spaced throughout the day) and Step 2: Get up off your ass (build muscle, it burns more calories - move your body every single day). Step 3 is the silent step: love yourself every single day - forgive yourself, find things about yourself that are AWESOME and work off those. Don't make getting healthy into another chore. Remember; you deserve to be healthy and live a long life.