Thursday, February 9, 2012

Where are my results?

Whether you've been at it for a month or for 3 years, if you aren't seeing the results that you were hoping for you are going to get disappointed. I've been working out for close to 2 years now, on my own, with a personal trainer, or in the gym. We've changed the way we eat, by not eating out more than once a week, if that (and making healthier choices when dining out as well), by meal planning healthy suppers, by always having a stocked fruit bowl and vegetable crisper. Hubby and I have talked quite a bit about wanting to live healthier lives, not only for ourselves, but so we can be the fun grandparents one day who still run around chasing the grandchildren.
Healthy Goals ✔
Cut Out Most of the Crap ✔
Move Your Body ✔
 So it's completely understandable why I am so frustrated. Why I'm so disappointed. Why I'm feeling like a 'failure'. I've been doing the right things. I've followed a prescription for health, but I'm still fat a really jiggley mommy. I want to go to the doctor to talk about testing, but I don't want to be seen as another fat larger person who blames a genetic problem or underactive thyroid before actually doing the work. Not to mention, my current doctor is so "oh you know, just don't eat so much". 
And then sometimes I just really need to re-evaluate my expectations. When I first started on this journey I was over 180lbs. I couldn't do ONE MODIFIED pushup. I couldn't run for more than 20 seconds. I would get breathless going up one flight of stairs. I may still be quite a distance from my goal weight of 130lbs, but I can do so much more now. I can do about 20 FULL ON pushups before I need to take a breather, but than I can do 20 more after that, and then 20 more, and more. Maybe slowly, maybe awkwardly, but I RAN a 5km last spring. I can run stairs at the gym... I can KEEP UP at the gym. I can play fitness games with the trainers (hardcore class!) and WIN! I am strong! I'm willing to at least TRY now, instead of give up before I even start.
Ok, so I've got TWO choices: I can be defeated by a number on the scale, because when we talk about results, the result I want to see is a decreasing number there. OR I can keep going. I can ask for help and input from the people around me. I can push myself harder. I can go farther. I can set more goals. I can continue to strive to be the person I want to be, whether that's in 6 months or 6 years and no matter what obstacles may stand in my way. Who are we kidding... there aren't two choices. 

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