I have heard almost this exact same phrase expressed countless times in the last month and a half: "2012 is the year that I reclaim my life". For some that may be finding a new hobby or putting new energy into and old a passion. For others that means hitting the gym and cutting out the McPukes. Or maybe even making commitments for more time, for ourselves or our families. For me, yes I'm jumping on this bandwagon, it's about becoming me. It's finding the passion and the humour in life again. It's about busting out of the same old black yoga pants and pulling on a bright pink tshirt. It's about appreciating my family, not just because they're my family, but because as individuals they are pretty cool people, big and little.
Earlier this week I shattered the shell of the woman who was taking over. I had a little breakdown; a little "holy shit this is scary and real and I am not doing well" moment. So instead of continuing to battle myself, I choose to fight. I saw a doctor and got some medication, whether it's just for now to even things out or a longer term solutions, we'll have to see. I opened up to my hubby about just how much I was struggling. I wrote a crazy depressing blog. SMASH! All my cards on the table; no where to go but up.
It might have been just a few days ago to I was so low low low. But already I feel a warming. Already I feel like I'm breathing easier, sleeping a little more sound, not as afraid to jump with both feet. So 2012 will be my bitch! I will gain new perspective and health this year. I will continue to strengthen my body and mind. I will tell my boys every.single.day how much I love then and what I love about them. I will become the woman I want to be, again. Piece by piece.
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