Hush Little Baby

I sort of feel that by admitting this out loud, it is akin to saying I have a problem in an AA meeting...
Hello, my name is Tina <welcome, Tina> and I *gasp* rock my child to sleep. Every. Night.
Ok, it's out there. I know, I know - I'm ruining my child. He'll never learn how to fall asleep on his own... I fully expect that when he goes to college he'll need to take me along with him so I can rock him, and tuck his hair behind his ears and whisper I love you's as he drifts into dreams.
Or probably not.
A bazillion years ago (or maybe about 4.5) I was watching a talk show and some celebrity who just had a baby came on. And amidst all the "oh wow you look amazing for someone with a 6 month old!" and "how do you find the time to be so damn perfect?!", she said something that really stuck with me. She said her mother told her to ignore all the books and the "helpful" advice from friends and other moms and to rock her baby to sleep. Her mother told her that baby's are only little for so long, and there really is a short window of time when they will want to be rocked and snuggled into sleep, so rock your baby to sleep. And this makes so much sense to me. This touches my heart - my babies, both whom I rocked (and nursed) to sleep, will only need me to do this for so long. Even now with the Jiggley Boy, he's good with a cuddle, but when it's time to sleep he rolls over and there is a gap between us.
I *may* complain about sleepless nights. Jiggley baby is sneaking up on 11 months now and he's still up a minimum of twice a night. Is that because he's so used to me rocking and nursing him to sleep, that he wakes and needs me? Maybe. Is it because he gets scared? Maybe. Is it because that is part of his developing personality? Likely. I've had friends and family comment, offhandedly and flat out, that I should just let him cry it out, stop nursing if he wakes during the night, put him to sleep while he's awake - he'll learn.
But part of me just isn't sure what he'll learn. He'll learn that sometimes if he cries, momma is not going to come make it better? He'll learn that something that gives him great comfort and contentment is not available during darkness? I'm just not sure. I'm not a fan of crying it out. I'm not saying it doesn't work - because there are millions of people out there who it definitely works for. But it doesn't work for me, it hurts my heart too much to really commit to it.
So for all you other moms who are rocking your children gently into dreamland, who don't put an awake baby down to sleep, who nurse until that little sigh right before they pop their latch and snuggle into you -  You aren't alone. And I don't think you are ruining your child. I don't think you are screwing up their sleep or sleep habits. I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Because before you know it, your baby will sleep through the night and that baby will turn into a child that sleeps in his own bed and doesn't need your smell or your arms or your breast to fall into slumber. It's such a small window of time that I can rock my baby to sleep, so I will.