Gender Roles

I can remember, very clearly, sitting in one of my Social Work courses (about 5 years ago) talking about gender roles. I remember silently laughing, to myself, at some of the views of a couple of the younger girls. They were making bold statements like "I'm not going to put my future child into a gender box, I'll let them be whoever they are going to be..." And the freshly pregnant me thought, that is all good in theory, but you can't really shield a child completely from gender roles. I knew then, that if the baby in my belly were a girl she'd wear pink, and if he had boy bits (which he did), then he'd wear blue (which he does). But I also knew that I'm open minded enough that if my daughter wanted to play with trucks and climb trees, I'd be ok with that. Just as I'm ok with my sons wanting to play with dolls or dancing around in a tutu. I'm cool like that.

I've always thought that my being open to these sorts of things would not only help my children eventually 'become whomever they are going to be', but help my BOYS become whatever kind of BOY they wanted to be... be that a rough a tumble boy boy or a sweet and gentle boy or better yet, a boy who doesn't care what others thinks, if he wants to play with a Barbie or put on a dress or kiss another boy than WHATEVS.
But he's learned gender roles somewhere. That fact came crashing in on me today when he told me I couldn't barbecue burgers because "Mummy's cook on the stove and only Daddy's cook on the bbq". Ok, it's true that my hubby does MOST of the cooking on the bbq, but REALLY?!?! I do not want my son to grow up to think that there are blue jobs and pink jobs. I don't want him to believe that there are things that men can do, that women can't. Also, I don't want him to ever feel like "women's work" is beneath him.
So today, instead of throwing on the BBQ and grilling up some burgers (and I'm starving too, btw), I sat down with my 4 year old and we talked about gender roles. I told him that even though there are jobs, in our house, that usually just mommy does, doesn't mean daddy can't do it. I explained that girls can do anything boys can do and boys can do anything girls can do. He nodded and agreed. He helped me think of examples, like when his girl friends play sword fighting or construction with him, or when he plays house or "fairy-cast-a-spell-on-the-trolls" (huh?!). I was so proud of us! He gets it.
Then he asked; "So that means I can grow a baby in my tummy just like a mommy? You know, when I'm older?"
Dammit, well played my boy. Well. Played.