Might Be Missing Something

**Warning: This blog contains personal beliefs about religion**

My husband's grandmother asked the entire family to not get her any birthday gifts for her big 80th birthday this year. All she asked was that everyone go to church with her the Sunday after her day. To be honest with you, I sort of dreaded this request. When I was very young, my family went to Midnight and Easter masses at the Anglican church, but that was it. I was really raised in a church. When I was 13, my cousin and I joined the United church and sang in the youth choir. I went to church and Sunday school every other weekend for the better part of 2 years. It was a pretty cool thing, to be part of that community, but it was mostly for socializing (and there *might* have been a couple of super cute guys in the choir) and I'm not sure how much I really took out of going to church.
I don't really consider myself a religious person. I don't get on my knees and pray every day. I don't think really believe that there is this all encompassing man, with a beard and flowing robes, who is the dictator of our actions and our hearts. I do believe that there is something more than me out there. I believe that it's important to be a good person, a kind person, a giving person. I don't believe I will be judged on my actions here on earth and placed in either heaven or hell, but I will make my own heaven with the beauty and goodness that was in my life. I believe in angels watching over us.
So yesterday, I went to church for the first time in about 15 years. As we shuffled into the pew, the sun started streaming through the stain glass windows, and the congregation hushed as the pastor started speaking. Something sort of clicked. Whether it was that I have missed having an outlet for whatever my faith may be, or the service, which was about the true meaning of Christmas, touched me more than I anticipated. Something I am sure of is that I want my son to grow up knowing that he can believe in whatever is in his heart. I want him to grow up with good morals and the ability to make good choices. Does this mean we'll go to church every Sunday? Probably not. But maybe a little more often than once every 15 odd years. Maybe I can find something I'm missing there, maybe I can prevent Trent from feeling like he's missing something, by giving him the opportunity to embrace faith. And really, would an hour every so often really hurt us? Nope - I didn't burn up upon entry of the church yesterday, so I'd say we're pretty safe. ;)