Prison

Being a prisoner doesn't mean that you are sitting in a tiny cell behind bars. You can be a prisoner, walking around in the sunlight, seemly free to the world. Being a prisoner means that you aren't free. Many of us are not free. I am not free from fear. I am not free from hurt and disappointment. I am not free from pain in my past that I haven't let go.

As part of my getting healthy, from the inside out, I need to let go. I need to forgive. I need to move forward. So I acknowledge that in my past I have been bullied; I have been forgotten, I have been made to feel 'less than'. I acknowledge that my fear has eaten me alive at certain times of my life and held me back. In saying that, I also acknowledge that actions others have taken are their choices, whether they are positive or negative, and I have no control over them. I admit that I have put myself in positions that make it easy for people to take advantage, or to walk away; I made myself into a victim. I know that my fears are exaggerated and with work they can be overcome. I let it go. I forgive those in my past, because a year ago, 5 years ago, 15 years ago; we were different people, we were children, we didn't see the world as we do today. I take my hurts, my pains, my feelings of injustice, and throw them to the wind. They are gone. They are in the past. They don't matter anymore.

I won't be a prisoner to myself anymore. This is what it means, learning to love yourself.