A Picture is Worth a 1000 Words.

If that were true, than what does a lack of pictures say? I've been going through my pictures of the last two and a bit years and there are very few pictures of myself. The pictures I do have are self portraits, taken at a 'fat girl angle'. I know there must be some pictures of me from the last almost 3 years. There have to be some pictures of me enjoying time with my family, making memories with my son. Or was I too self conscious, too ashamed of myself, to keep the pictures that were/are an accurate representation to myself? Did I toss the pictures that I happened to be in of my sons first birthday? Did I automatically hit delete on that picture of me on our last family vacation? Is my son going to wonder were mommy is in all the pictures of his first few years of life?

typical picture of me at my largest- "oops, I didn't get out of the way fast enough"

It makes me sad that I was so unhappy in my own skin. I'm disappointed in myself for always making the excuse to be behind the camera, instead of getting in a picture once in awhile to document my own involvement in my life. What does it matter if in ten years, Trent looks at picture of me and I'm fat. At least I'll be able to say I WAS fat, now I'm fit.



Date night - this was my first goal weight outfit (and it's getting big!)







So my new goal is to get out from behind the camera once in awhile. Insert myself into the picture a bit more often. Be a part of the memories. I want to look back at this time in my life as a journey and an adventure. I want to remember that I was bigger, so if I ever stumble I can look back and tell myself "YOU DID IT BEFORE!".