The first time I had a sleepover at Shawn's I pulled on his totally too big for me tshirt. His smell wrapped me in a hug and the tshirt hung off me in that sexy sleepy way. I felt so small and cute in it. One of the last times I put that tshirt on it clung to my hips and bagged at the armpits. It was in no way cute or sexy. It had turned into just another tshirt that was too big and too small at the same time. It was another nail in my self esteems coffin.
Last night was the first night in over a year that I slept by myself. Shawn left me the tshirt so I'd have his smell to snuggle up with at night. I slipped that tshirt on last night, hoping and praying that it wouldn't kill me to look in the mirror. I may not have lost a lot of weight, I may have a long way to go in getting myself healthy, but the shirt didn't cling as tight, it hung a bit looser, it made me feel a tiny bit cuter. Small steps, right?!
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